Parenthood Issues
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There are countless factors that affect our mental and physical wellbeing. Even a single aspect of life, such as the presence, absence, or intensity of physical pain, is determined by hundreds of biological, psychological, and even social factors. Things like our mood, our thoughts, and even our mental health are no different.
But some factors are more relevant than others, because of the role they play, or the fact that they can be controlled and addressed. For example, genetics plays a large role in mental health. Conditions like schizophrenia are hereditary. However, we can’t choose the family we’re born into. Factors that might influence psychotic episodes and can be controlled and affected, such as lifestyle choices, avoiding certain toxins, and managing stressors, become more relevant.
Relationships also affect our mental and physical wellbeing. The relationships we have with our friends and family can be protective against mental and physical health issues, or they can serve as risk factors.
Parental relationships are crucial for the mental health of both parents and their children. Even as adults, we can trace some of our mental health issues to parenthood issues, ranging from ignorance to mental health issues, to lack of communication, emotional neglect, or even outright abuse.
For parents, raising a child can be one of the most fulfilling and terrifying tasks of their entire life. Molding a human being’s first experiences and playing a part in developing their personality and understanding of the world is an overwhelming amount of responsibility. Mental health issues can make parenting even harder than it already is, and many parents place immense expectations upon both themselves and their children as a result of these issues.
Parenthood issues may be one of many factors affecting mental wellbeing, but they can be a significant factor – and one we can address through treatment.
What Are Parenthood Issues?
Relationships crucially affect our mental health. They affect how we perceive ourselves privately, how we present ourselves socially, and what we expect from others through the boundaries and expectations developed during childhood and adolescence. Relationship problems – especially trust issues, communication issues, and self-esteem issues – can often be traced back to a person’s earliest and most formative relationships, which are the relationships they have with their parents and closest relatives.
Identifying and addressing these relationship problems involves understanding when and how they developed, and how different treatment modalities might help an adult or teenager improve their communication skills, self-awareness, self-esteem, and mental wellbeing.
Among new parents, the challenges and difficulties of parenthood can also affect their mental wellbeing. Help and support are crucial – after all, it takes a village to raise someone. But not all parents receive the emotional, financial, and physical support they need, whether from each other, or from their friends, relatives, communities, or governments. Sometimes, it’s important to apply a few basic principles of self-care – including seeking mental help – for both your own sake, and the sake of your children.
Common parent-child relationship problems that affect mental health include:
1. Lack of effective communication:
Parents who don’t listen to their children, or who create a relationship where communication is one-sided (children should obey unquestioningly) can establish communication issues with their kids.
2. Poor conflict resolution:
When conflicts automatically devolve into shouting matches or result in corporeal punishment, children don’t learn how to de-escalate situations, apologize, or develop their empathic skills with other people.
3. Clashing parental styles:
When two or more parental figures aren’t in unison on how to raise their child, there can be a lot of confusion as to what is expected of a child, and how to respond to different demands.
4. Parental favoritism:
Sibling rivalries fueled by parental favoritism can lead to long-term consequences for a person’s self-esteem and their relationships with others.
5. Lack of boundaries:
Giving children no privacy or personal boundaries of any kind fosters secrecy and fuels a lack of trust between parents and children. It also doesn’t help kids develop any form of self-sufficiency and can contribute to helicopter parenting (overprotective/overly controlling parenting).
6. Extreme parental pressure:
When parents expect too much from their kids, the pressure can become unhealthy. Kids begin to lie about their grades or cover up their mistakes and failures. Rather than learn that failing is a normal part of life, and learning how to try again, kids panic over every potential instance of failure, or experience mental and physical symptoms of extreme stress.
Common parenthood issues that can affect a parent’s mental burden include:
1. Parental anxiety:
Parenting can be anxiety-inducing, especially for new parents who may feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities and uncertainties of raising a child.
2. Relationship stress:
Parenthood can strain romantic relationships, leading to conflicts, resentment, and feelings of isolation. Changes in roles, division of labor, and sleep disturbances can impact the quality of the relationship between partners.
3. Balancing work and family:
Many parents struggle to juggle the demands of work and family life, leading to stress, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy.
4. Social isolation:
Parenthood can be socially isolating, particularly for stay-at-home parents or those with limited social support networks.
5. Lack of self-care:
Parenting often involves prioritizing the needs of children above one's own, leading to neglect of self-care practices.
Strategies for Parenthood Issues at Coastwise
The dynamics of a family play a large role in how we see ourselves, and how we interact with others. At Coastwise, we utilize different therapeutic modalities, including Family Systems Therapy, to help clients address their family relationships, resolve generational trauma, or help improve communication skills between family members.
Parents worried about the stresses of parenthood can also consider individual talk therapy as a supportive tool, helping parents cope with the difficulties of being a parent, and learn how they might help foster a healthy self-esteem and mental resilience in their children through effective communication skills, authoritative parenting, and healthy parent-child relationship advice.
Get Started with Us at Coastwise
The relationships we foster with our children are the most important, and most formative relationships in their lives. Furthermore, our own experiences during childhood and adolescence continue to contribute to our self-esteem and mental wellbeing in adulthood.
Addressing these formative issues and coping with the difficulties of parenthood through therapy and emotional support is important. Work with us at Coastwise to help address and improve your communication skills and relationship problems.